i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
