I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
