Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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