mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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