btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
