So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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