Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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