Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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