apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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