I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
