I got chris browned last night
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
now i know why i became what i already was.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
