Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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