oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Can i not drive my cunt home
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
