And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
