So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
