The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
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We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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