And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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