I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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