laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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