Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
