They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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