i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
