i will never coherently bang her
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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