i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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