WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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