I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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