mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize