So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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