I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
