We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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