There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf