O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize