How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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