Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we made out on top of his cat.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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