You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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