I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
BRING THE BAGELS
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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