does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
