And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
