Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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