The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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