my phone needs a breathalizer
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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