Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
