people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
