don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I had to cum in my sink.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
