okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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