If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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