My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
