I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
