pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wear drunk well.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize