She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
