I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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