Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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