Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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