laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
well you can't waste a boner
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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