He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
