He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
