There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
