That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
