I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize