why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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